


Unholy Matrimony

by Zakani_Donovan



Series: Ineffably Yours (Ineffable Husbands AU Week 2020) [5]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Gay, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Ineffable Husbands AU Week 2020, M/M, Wedding Planner AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:14:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26455456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zakani_Donovan/pseuds/Zakani_Donovan
Summary: Arranged marriage isn’t always an easy thing. That’s why it’s a good thing to hire the right wedding planner. What better planner than Aziraphale Fell-Crowley?
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Gabriel & Beelzebub, Gabriel/Beelzebub
Series: Ineffably Yours (Ineffable Husbands AU Week 2020) [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1922614
Comments: 6
Kudos: 38





	Unholy Matrimony

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jenanigans1207](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenanigans1207/gifts).



> Day 5 of Ineffable Husbands AU Week 2020.
> 
> Prompts to choose from: Arranged Marriage AU and/or Wedding Planner AU.
> 
> Prompt chosen: Both.

Marriage has always been an interesting concept. Finding that one person you want to spend the rest of your life with, it's a nice thought. Not everyone agrees with it, many don't like or want commitment, while others have no choice. This was the case for Gabriel Godwind and Beatrice DeVille. Their union had been arranged since birth and they weren't about to throw away centuries of tradition just because they couldn't stand each other. After all, plenty of their family members seemed to be perpetually annoyed by their chosen partners and they had managed to live successful lives. Why couldn't they have that too? Now, in keeping with traditions, they needed to have a big ceremony. Neither of them thought so much effort should go into the party but they knew how to follow rules, so they ended up hiring a wedding planner. What they hadn't expected from this planner was the amount of energy and cheerfulness they got.

Aziraphale Fell-Crowley loved, well, **love**. That was the main reason he decided to be a wedding planner. He wanted to help make that special day be the most love-filled celebration anyone's ever seen. The chubby, blond man might as well be a human version of Cupid. He had only just gotten hired and he already had a long list of things needed for the party. It was impressive, no doubt, but Beatrice was more impressed with Aziraphale's husband. Anthony J. Crowley seemed to be the most efficient assistant they had ever seen.

"Angel, did you show them your last album? The one with the Shadwell renewal?" Asked the skinny redhead as he brought over the tea tray.

The blue-eyed party planner immediately perked up. "Oh, right you are, darling! My best work from last year, no doubt. And those two were unbearable to work with!"

"Well, the bride was alright. The **groom** was unbearable." Said Crowley as he sauntered into the next room.

Aziraphale made a face as he handed Gabriel and Beatrice their teacups. "True. Tracy's a saint, I'll never know how she deals with that man."

The scrawny man came back, the aforementioned album in hand. "Same way you deal with me. She's far too smitten to realize she's married a little monster."

The wedding planner rolled his eyes and took a sip of his tea. "Please. The most monstrous thing about you is your aesthetic. You're a big softie."

"You're killing my reputation, angel." Groaned the ginger as he slumped down onto the couch next to his husband.

"You killed it all by yourself. You stare at him like he's the most beautiful thing in the world." Said Beatrice, smirking. This was the first time they didn't look like they wanted to bury themself to get away from the wedding talk.

Gabriel's smile creeped from behind the teacup and Aziraphale quickly felt a bit of hope.

~~~~~

That night, as the husbands settled into bed, the blond looked very lost in thought. Crowley snapped his fingers a few times until Aziraphale was mentally back with him.

"Yes, dear?"

The skinny man pouted and glared. "I'm over here talking about all the nasty things I want to do to you -for the last two minutes, might I add- and you're not even paying attention!"

"Oh darling, I'm sorry." Said the blond softly, reaching over to pat his shoulder.

Crowley's pseudo outrage faded quickly as he settled back onto his side of the bed. Seriously, how Aziraphale hadn't noticed that his husband was nibbling on and talking dirty into his ear just a few moments ago was anyone's guess. "You're thinking about Godwind and DeVille, aren't you?" He asked knowingly.

Aziraphale sighed. "Yes. You know, today was the first time they looked like they actually might get along... Can you imagine being in their shoes?"

"Thank fuck I wasn't. Never would've made it down the aisle. Not voluntarily, anyway. Real runaway bride, me. Plus, y'know, no one compares to you."

The blond smiled and almost rolled his eyes. "In this scenario, we never would've met, love."

Crowley shrugged, hugging his pillow. "So? I probably wouldn't be as happy in that universe. Even if I never knew why."

"You corny thing." Laughed Aziraphale.

"I'm serious! Do you know all the strange little quirks you have that I adore?"

"Like what?"

He started counting with his fingers. "The way you pout while reading. You look so cute, I just want to kiss you senseless. You hum show-tunes when you're bored or in a bad mood. You fidget around when you're focusing, or rather, **trying** to focus on something. When you're stressed, you reorganize everything on your desk. You never let me be the big spoon, not 'cause you're bigger than me, but because you like to bury your nose in my hair. Sometimes you pretend to be cross with me, just so I try to make you laugh. And fucking Hell, you're such a fucking hedonist. Absolutely **no one** wiggles like you when you're eating something good. Shall I go on?" He asked smugly before looking up at him again.

Aziraphale looked close to tears. "And yet, you insist I'm the one who notices all the small details. You're selling yourself short, dear."

"You've made whole career out of focusing on details! You're tough competition, y'know." Said the redhead, reaching over and caressing Aziraphale's cheek.

The chubby man turned his head ever so slightly so he could kiss his husband's palm. "It does explain how you almost always swoop in at the perfect moment to help me feel better... Do you think Gabriel and Beatrice could ever get to this point?"

"Madly in love and desperate to please and protect one another? One can only hope. Angel, I need you to remember what your **actual** job is, okay?" He asked as he nudged closer, still holding his face the same gentle way.

Aziraphale let out a small huff. "Darling, I know exactly what my job is. I've been doing it for decades."

He got even closer, making sure to keep eye contact. "Whether they love each other or not isn't something you need to worry about. You just need to make sure their special day goes off without a hitch... I know you wish you could change that, but you're not Cupid."

"I know..." Said the wedding planner, a bit sadly.

The skinny ginger pressed their foreheads together. "Listen, I'm not saying don't give them hope that it can get better over time. Just keep it to a decent amount, nothing too intrusive. It'll only remind them they were forced into this in the first place." He shifted to plant a kiss on his forehead, then his cheek, then his lips. He always knew this sort of tenderness helped Aziraphale calm him a bit when he was insecure, overthinking or just upset.

Evidently, it worked, because his expression changed. He shifted closer. "Thank you, my dear. I'll keep that in mind... Now, I do believe you were trying to seduce me and I was not giving you the attention you deserved. Let's fix that, shall we?" Said the blond as he placed his hand on Crowley's thigh.

The skinny man smirked and moved even closer. "Oh look, there's another quirk: talking all prime and proper when you want sex."

"I haven't the slightest clue of what you're talking about, darling." Said Aziraphale as his hand started roaming.

"Bastard." He gasped in response.

The blond chuckled softly. "You love it."

"No shit-!" Moaned Crowley before surging forward to capture his husband's mouth.

~~~~~

Today, Gabriel and Beatrice had agreed to meet with Aziraphale and Crowley at a bakery to do a cake tasting. They had gotten there a bit early, not having run into traffic like they had expected to, so they had to wait for the husbands to arrive. As they did this, they figured they might as well glance at the options.

"So, did you actually have an idea in mind for the cake or...?" Asked Gabriel out of the blue.

Beatrice was surprised by this. Usually they only talked about the wedding when Aziraphale was around. They shrugged. "Not really. As long as it's not vanilla, I don't think I'll care too much."

Gabriel blinked. "Not a fan then?"

"Fuck no." They hissed.

"Me neither. Too basic of a flavor." Said the purple-eyed man.

Beatrice nodded. "Exactly!"

They both seemed to realize this was the first thing they agreed on when it came to planning this wedding. It was like a strange comfort for them. The moment was cut short when they noticed Aziraphale and Crowley entering the bakery. The happy couple quickly saw them and waved before making their way over to them. Aziraphale had his satchel, while Crowley was carrying a large box of some kind.

"So sorry we're late. I lost track of time while getting some albums together to show you as we tasted various cake flavors."

"Well, that explains the box." Said Beatrice as Crowley places it on the table with a huff. "This thing looks like it weighs more than you do." They said with a grin. Gabriel laughed at that.

Aziraphale perked up immediately but tried to control himself. He cleared his throat, excused himself and went to talk to the baker.

Crowley sat with the couple, he reached into the box and pulled out a red photo album. He put it on the table and slid it over to both of them. "So, you wait long for us or...?"

Gabriel shook his head as he grabbed the album. "No. Barely 10 minutes. What's so special about this one?"

"It's ours. He wants you to see if you like the column decorations we used. We have a thing for Ancient Greece. Or anything ancient, for that matter." Said Crowley as he slouched into a more comfortable position. Well, comfortable for him. To anyone else, it just looked like a strange way to sit.

Beatrice grinned like mad. " **Please** tell me the outfits were from Ancient Greece too." They said, ready to tease.

"If he'd gotten his way, they would've been. That's where I drew the line." Said the redhead, recalling how much he begged Aziraphale to change his mind when it came to their ceremony attire.

"That'd be like us dressing up as some blokes from the biblical times or the renaissance." Said Gabriel, mostly to himself but the other two heard him just fine.

Beatrice laughed at his comment, **truly** laughed. It made Aziraphale, who was at the counter waiting for the baker to return with the samples, turn around. Even from far away, he could tell Gabriel seemed impressed by the fact that he had gotten Beatrice to laugh. At what, he had no idea, but he was pleased nonetheless.

Back at the table, the couple was still flipping through the same album, critiquing away. It annoyed Crowley a bit, but since Aziraphale wasn't there and it looked like these two had made some progress with each other, he didn't comment on it. He simply made notes of whatever they didn't hate or seemed inclined to.

"Alright, seriously, which one of you cried more? It's hard to tell by the pictures. You've both got tear-tracks running down your faces." Said Beatrice.

Crowley looked at the pictures, remembering each moment from a totally different angle of course, so he really thought he had managed to wipe the tears away just enough so they wouldn't have shown up on film. He pursed his lower lip and shrugged. "No idea. I think it was a tie."

"Would you be that emotional?" Gabriel asked his future spouse out of the blue, and Crowley held his breath until Beatrice reacted.

Beatrice, to their credit, had a wonderful pokerface. Neither man knew how they were going to react until they simply shrugged. "Haven't been in the past. Don't see why I'd start now." They said honestly. Then they looked Gabriel in the eyes and asked: "Would you?"

"Maybe." Replied the dark-haired man.

A silence fell over the table and they continued going through the rest of the pictures. Thankfully, they were finished with the album by the time Aziraphale returned with all the cakes for the tasting. Crowley made sure to not say anything about what just occurred until much later in the evening when they were alone. Although, he did scribble out a note to include a strategically placed handkerchief on both of them, just in case.

The wedding planner was easily the most excited person at that moment. "Alright, here are some of the best cakes Eric & Erik have to offer. Might I suggest you start with the vanilla?"

"No." Said the couple in perfect sync.

Aziraphale was taken aback for a moment, but smiled. "In that case, let us move on to the red velvet."

It took some time, but eventually, the two of them agreed on the lemon flavor. They went through several of the other albums and some of the decorations were chosen before they left the bakery.

~~~~~

"They've never been this talkative before!" Said the blond excitedly. They had just walked through the front door of their home and Aziraphale was already sprinting to his desk to start planning the decoration 'designs'.

Crowley nodded and placed the box on the floor before throwing himself onto the couch. "I know. Barely believed what I was seeing. Must've finally embraced the fact that they need to have a ceremony. May as well like how it looks."

"I do hope so. Also, it's a good thing you told me to stay out of it. My first instinct was to talk to them about it, you know."

"Of course I know. I didn't squeeze your thigh under the table because I felt like getting all hot and bothered in public."

"That certainly explains the death grip. Anyhow, I'm just glad they're opening up a bit more. And the fact that Beatrice brought up flower choices all on their own truly made me happy."

"That really surprised me. Didn't peg them for a the bouquet type."

"Well my dear, it may be a tired saying but it's always accurate. Never judge a book by its cover."

"If I had a dollar for every time my bookish husband used that damn saying, I'd be rich. Really angel, change it up a bit."

"Oh, do hush and come help me with this." He said as he slid to the other side of his work bench.

The scrawny redhead sat next to him. "Alright. Let's see what you've got."

The husbands had a specific way of making designs. Aziraphale would write the word of whatever decoration he was thinking of in the position said decoration was in his mind, while Crowley would actually draw it. For example, the blond had written 'Doric Greek Column' vertically on either side of the paper, so now Crowley had to draw the two columns on his paper. Same with the silk fabrics, the flowers, the wall of ivy, and everything else.

It was a long process sometimes, but it was theirs and it worked. Once that was finished, they started calling flower shops around the area for their next meeting with Gabriel and Beatrice in a few days. After that, they went onto another appointment they had for today.

~~~~~

The trip to the flower shop was interesting. Aziraphale had never had a bride or groom who wanted black flowers for their wedding, and here was Beatrice, interrogating the florist about just how dark she could make the plants.

Gabriel seemed to be amused by this, before he grabbed Crowley to speak with him for a moment.

"What's up?" Asked the redhead as they made it to the back room of the shop.

Gabriel looked over his shoulder, most likely making sure no one else was listening. "Do you think I should do some kind of grand gesture for Bea? Something to let them know I want to try to make this whole marriage thing as good as possible."

Crowley blinked, went to say something, and shut his mouth again. He pouted as he mulled it over for a bit. "Don't. That's something Aziraphale would do, not you."

"Exactly, that's the whole point! You and your husband just seem to be so perfect-"

The freckled man laughed as he interrupted. "We're far from perfect, mate."

"Are you kidding me? You two are easily the happiest couple I've ever met!" Exclaimed Gabriel.

Crowley crossed his arms as he leaned onto a nearby shelf. "Just because we're the happiest, doesn't mean we're perfect. We have our own issues all the time."

"How do you make it work?" Asked the purple-eyed man, clearly desperate.

The assistant placed a hand on the groom's shoulder. "Look Gabe, your marriage won't be the same as ours, or your parents' or your neighbors'. Whatever your marriage is, that depends on you and Beatrice. If you go around acting like someone else, you're not helping yourself. Not to mention, Beatrice seems to be the type of person who doesn't enjoy really sappy gestures like me and Aziraphale. I think it'd annoy them more than anything."

"Then, what do I do?"

"Tell them. Be honest. Find out what gives them comfort. Try your best to make it work." Concluded the redhead.

Gabriel began to nod as his facial expression changed. "Alright. Alright, thank you Crowley. Really." He said, practically sprinting out of the back room.

Suddenly, Crowley was all alone, surrounded by roses. He stared at one of the flowers, as if it was a proper witness to what had just gone down in the room. "Well, **that** was a thing."

~~~~~

The wedding came soon enough, while they didn't look head-over-heels for each other, they certainly looked at ease. To Aziraphale's surprise, the kiss at the end of the ceremony wasn't as awkward as he expected. In fact, they seemed to be quite comfortable with each other. The sight made his little heart soar. The reception was more fun than anyone had expected. Everyone, ate, danced and drank the night away.

At one point in the evening, Aziraphale ran into Gabriel as he exited the bathroom and the groom asked to speak with him outside.

"I really must thank you for all you did, Aziraphale."

"It's my job, dear boy. Of course I-"

He grabbed the blond's shoulder. "Not just you, your husband too. You have no idea how grateful I am we hired you two."

Aziraphale beamed. "Well, I'm very glad to hear it. I was wondering what you thought about the whole event. Is Beatrice just as pleased as you are?"

Gabriel nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips. "As far as I can tell, they are..." A forced chuckle left him before he continued. "You know, if it wasn't for you and Crowley, I think today would've been incredibly miserable for the both of us."

"Is that so?" Asked the wedding planner with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes. Ever since the beginning, you were so sure that we could find a way to be happy, even though this was arranged without our say. Eventually, I started believing it. I started thinking 'hey, if I act like Aziraphale, maybe it'll all work out'. Thank God your husband knocked some sense into me."

Aziraphale blinked. "He **did**?"

"Oh, yeah. If I hadn't listened to him, I definitely would've made things very awkward. Bea's grateful too. They agreed that listening to Crowley was the smartest thing I could've done... At least now I know I have a chance of actually being friends with my spouse, unlike before."

"Dear boy, I'm sure you had the chance all along."

"Alright then. Faith. You, with your 'love is the best thing in the world' hope and Crowley, with his 'keep your feet on the ground and try' mentality- it just worked for us. Gave us faith that it **could** work. So, thank you for that too."

The blond simply smiled, heart full and tears threatening to spill. Gabriel seemed to be in a similar state so they went back inside to distract themselves and continue the partying.

In the distance, they saw Crowley speaking with Beatrice. The two men made their way over, and Gabriel asked his new spouse for a dance. To the husbands' surprise, they were very eager to accept the offer. Crowley and Aziraphale watched the happy couple.

"You got a talk too?" Asked the blond.

"Yup."

"What was yours like?"

"Bea thanked me for hiding a handkerchief in their bouquet, gave me the final cheque, then started cracking jokes about Gabriel being more tolerable than they ever expected... They sounded excited to be married." He explained.

"Good. That's already much better than how they felt about it in the beginning."

"Yeah... Angel, I should apologize." Confessed the redhead.

Aziraphale looked at him. "Whatever for?"

"Trying to make you put a lid on the whole 'love' thing. It clearly helped them out."

"As did you. And no need to apologize, darling. You were right to remind me that things are always best in moderation. I do tend to get carried away." Admitted the blond. 

Crowley grinned. "I'll say. Just look at the amount of petals on the tables."

"And what about you with that ivy covered wall? Crowley, darling, we can't even **see** the wall anymore!" Challenged Aziraphale.

With a shrug, the freckled man stepped behind his husband and wrapped his arms around his waist. Crowley's head on his right shoulder as he hugged him. "Well, they both liked it, so we're in the clear... Let's hope the cheque clears too. These damn columns are making me nostalgic."

Aziraphale turned his head a bit to look at his skinny little tempter. "Are you proposing a second honeymoon, dear?"

"We could do Rome this time around. Venice. Florence. Pisa. Or Tuscany, if you like." He said, placing a kiss on his neck with every option.

The chubby man was trying very hard to not melt in his husband's grasps while in the middle of someone's wedding reception. However, he wasn't resisting his plan. "How about all of the above? You have been saying we should take a month off since we're so far ahead with our current clients. We could spend a week in each place."

"Sounds perfect, angel... How many days a week would you let me out of the hotel room?"

"5 out of 7. We're not that young anymore, love."

Crowley laughed and hugged him tighter. Their gazes landed on Gabriel and Beatrice once more. They were slow dancing now, gentle smiles on their faces as they swayed together.

"Those two are gonna be just fine." Concluded Crowley as they watched on.


End file.
